Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
