Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
