you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Is it penis luge time yet?
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Randomize
