i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
