you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
