Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
