i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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