apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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