i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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