Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
