I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
two words: eviction party
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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