this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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