Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
