I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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