I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Why did my mother make you get naked?
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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