WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
