are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
