Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
it glows. i had to have it.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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