that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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