I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
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