So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
only you would photoshop your dick
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
