She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
