I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
