I cockslap morals
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Randomize
