lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Randomize
