you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
