The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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