Kareoke will never be a sober sport
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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