You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
God I need to hump something, right now.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
