Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
