I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
