Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
