Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
