I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
