This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
