I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
