Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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