I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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