Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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