I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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