He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Randomize