my soul wont recognize me after tonight
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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