Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
