My friends, they love my intelligence
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Fuck appropriateness.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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