Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
