I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
dude. I can hear the air.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Randomize
