Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Randomize
