I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
