At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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