that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
