You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
