My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
